Report Card

When I was in school, getting my report card was always an exciting time for me.  I was a good student, I enjoyed school, and so I expected good grades.  Sometimes my parents felt generous and would pay me for the A's and B's.  However, this enthusiasm does not extend toward my son.  He is secretive, tells half-truths about what is due and not, what is homework and not homework.  I listen to a long line of excuses such as: "I forgot...I  was supposed to due that?...The teacher is boring/stupid/gives dumb assignments...It is not a real class!"   He is  good kid but unorganized and lazy.  It is hard to stay on top of all the time.  I struggle with my own organizational skills and I have to teach someone else!

One thing is for sure, yelling does not work nor does bribery.  I have to find the balance between what is fair while remaining strict.  Plus, taking away the privileges of television/Ipod/video games means that the rest of us cannot watch television.  We live in a small house with only one television and my husband loves his television, so he feels "grounded" as well.  That is not fair.

I look forward to the day when my son makes the connection that when his motivation matches his ability life for him becomes a lot easier.  Plus his parents will get off his back.  I suspect there are adults who have not made this connection, ability finally meeting up with the desire.

Any thoughts or suggestions?  What are your experiences with motivation vs abilities?